Mother's Day Gift Guide

1. Green People - Age Control Kit £33 vegan and cruelty-free // 2. Pamper Treat Smartbox by Buyagift £29.99 // 3. Field of Dreams - British Seasonal Flowers Bouquet by By Nature £39.95 // 4. Flower Shaker by Hema £3 // Engraved Gardening Tool Set from I Just Love It £24.99.

I feel pretty lucky to have my mum and dad. I can honestly say that not much would get done in my house without them. My dad can fix pretty much anything with only a moment’s notice (without even checking YouTube to see how to do it. How does he know things without YouTube?) and my mum is always helping out with one thing and another.

I always feel better after a visit from my parents. The house is arguably more organised after my mum leaves, I’m well fed and Ebony is content after an afternoon of games and fun with her grandparents. It’s hard to explain just how much I appreciate everything they do for me, and I know that life would be way more difficult (and less enjoyable) without them in it.

When I first had Ebony, I remember feeling like Mother’s Day was my day. I was a mother now and could reap the benefits of this day of celebration. But this year, it’s definitely my mum who deserves all of the attention. I might spend my days looking after my daughter, making sure she is happy, loved and healthy, but my mum is still doing all of this for me 29 years later. That’s quite the commitment to my well-being.

If you’re feeling just as starstruck by your own mother, here are just a few gift ideas for you to look at it:

1. I’ve recently been busy researching vegan-friendly anti-aging skincare (30 is approaching) and found this one by Green People. It’s suitable for vegans and not tested on animals, making it a great Mother’s Day gift option.

2. Buyagift offered to send my mum a Pamper Treat Smartbox this Mother’s Day. It’s an easy way to treat someone you love to a spa treatment. All you do is order the box online, then the receiver gets to choose which treatment they would like and where they’d like to have it. There are plenty of different treatments and spa treats to choose from, so there’s bound to be something your mum will love.

3. You can’t really go wrong with flowers, can you? And By Nature pride themselves on providing organic, ethical flowers meaning you can stop feeling guilty about sending a bunch of flowers to your mum this Mother’s Day. The bouquet is made from British seasonal flowers, so you don’t need to worry about the air miles behind your bouquet.

4. If you’re looking for something cheap and cheerful this Mother’s Day, Hema is a great place to check out. I love this Flower Shaker, the packaging looks great so it will make a pretty gift. And it has the added benefit of beautifying your mum’s garden whilst also helping to attract wildlife to her garden.

5. My mum can usually be found in the garden. And if she’s not there, she’s probably in my garden planting bulbs with Ebony. I Just Love It kindly offered to send something this Mother’s Day and I immediately chose this personalised engraved gardening tool kit. It’s something I know she’ll get a lot of use out of and I love the fact it can be engraved with your own message.

What are you getting your mother this Mother’s Day?

7 Reasons Why my Four Year old Would be a Terrible Midwife

I want my daughter to feel confident, capable and ready for anything. I want to raise a little girl who enjoys challenges, who enjoys what she does and who, most importantly, knows she can do anything. I don’t know what she will be when she grows up, at the moment it’s a toss-up between doctor and magician, but ideally she’d like to combine the two careers somehow. And I’m happy to support her in doing that. I think a doctor who can also perform impressive sleight of hand sounds pretty incredible. I think she can be whatever she wants to be, apart from a midwife, she really shouldn’t be one of those. Is that because of the stressful working conditions, the shortage of midwives or the pay scale (they should get more, anyone who catches your baby as they enter the world should get more)? No, it’s because she’d be shit at it. Here’s why:

1. She lacks empathy

I’m suffering from a little bit of Pelvic Girdle Pain at the moment. I had it from 28 weeks last time, but I’m already getting twinges now at just 16 weeks. It’s depressing because I know it’s only going to get worse. I’m wearing a maternity support belt and trying to be careful about what I do, but I still feel like I’ve been kicked really hard in the fanny by the end of each day. Here’s what my midwife had to say about:

Me: I’m so uncomfortable, my whole pelvic area just really hurts.

Four year old midwife: Ha! Mummy, I think it will hurt more when the baby blurps out of your vagina!

2. She is way too interested in bodily functions

The very first time we played midwives, I realised that perhaps midwifery is not for her. She looked at me excitedly, widened her eyes, licked her lips and announced, “I’m going to be the wee one now.” Then she took on the role of the student midwife to check my urine sample. There was a lot of excited deep breathing and pretend hand wiping before she said, “It’s fine. Now, please can I have your poo sample.”

3. She cries too much

I don’t know about you, but when I’m at a midwife appointment, I want to be the only one having an emotional breakdown. It’s the hormones. If I need to have a good cry because I don’t like injections, then that’s fine. It’s not fine for my midwife to cry, though. She should remain professional at all times. Why would my daughter make a terrible midwife? Because she pretended to cry three times during a five minute game of midwives. Why? Because my baby was just so cute it made her need to cry. No, midwife, just no. Pull yourself together.

4. She doesn’t seem to understand much about pregnancy

Since agreeing to have a four year old midwife, I have discovered that four year olds know very little about pregnancy. You can buy and read them all the pregnancy books in the world, they still won’t get it. My daughter has been told repeatedly that the baby is coming in August, that this is a long way away and that it’s after nursery finishes. And yet, every single midwife appointment begins with her asking, “Will the baby’s head be coming out of your vagina today?” And when told that no, that’s not for ages, she has the cheek to tut. Loudly.

5. She’s a bit too touchy-feely

I’m not a lover of being touched by strangers. Obviously, your midwife needs to force their doppler deep into your bladder to try and get you to pee yourself under the guise of ‘trying to find the heartbeat’ (no? Just me?). She also needs to give you a little prod to measure the baby. I’m ok with that. What I’m not ok with is having a midwife who simply wants to stroke my tummy. Or one who leans her heads against it and acts out the sound of my baby’s heart beating. And, actually, kissing and blowing raspberries on my tummy is a big no, which is another reason why I think maybe my daughter wouldn’t be a very professional midwife.

6. She doesn’t seem to understand the point of the appointment

With my adult midwives, I have always felt that the regular visits were a way for them to check my health, check the baby’s health and offer information and advice. With my daughter, it mostly seems to be an opportunity to give and receive stickers. The appointments are littered with sticker-giving opportunities. I got a sticker for giving blood, and then she got a sticker for taking it. By the end of the appointment, I was covered in tiny coloured heart stickers. It’s just not what I think many women want from a midwife (I may be wrong).

7. Her bedside manner needs work

One minute she’s listening to the baby’s heartbeat and the next she’s insisting that the appointment is over. Here’s why:

Midwife: Ew. Your tummy smells.

Me: Like perfume?

Midwife: No, like bread.

FFS.

Pregnancy Update: Week 15

15 weeks. I know the finish line is still a long way off, but it’s creeping closer each week and I really think it will be here in no time. I had my second midwife appointment this week. Midwife appointments are few and far between in second pregnancies, but I’m ok with that. The less I have to carry a pot of wee around with me, the better as far as I’m concerned.

It was half-term so I took Ebony with me. I was really glad she could come, I think getting her involved with the pregnancy might help to prepare her for life as a big sister. She was really fascinated with the idea of a wee sample, and I had to negotiate quite firmly to convince her that she was not the right person to decant the wee into the little cylindrical pot.

Ebony sat on my knee for most of the appointment and looked on in wonder as they checked my blood pressure. She also seemed pretty relieved to hear that I didn’t have syphilis. It took them a while to find the baby’s heartbeat, apparently the baby is pretty low for 15 weeks. This was news to me because I already look about six months pregnant - if that’s not baby, then what it is? It’s biscuit spread. Mystery solved.

When we left the room, Ebony told me that she was pretty disappointed that neither of us had been offered a sticker. She thought it was quite unfair and that having injections was better than seeing a midwife because then, at least, you get a sticker.

Me: I’ll be having an injection at my next midwife appointment.

Ebony: Oooh, then will I get a sticker?

Me: ...No.

Ebony: Why not?

Me: Because you won’t have had an injection.

Ebony: Well can I have your sticker?

Me: Grownups don’t get stickers.

Ebony: What!?

We’ve spent quite a bit of time since playing midwives, but better midwives who give out lots of stickers (read my post about this here). After the appointment, we caught the train into Manchester for the day. We had tickets to see We’re going on a bear hunt live at the Lowry.  There was a lot of walking to do and by the end of the day, I felt pretty awful. I think it’s safe to say my PGP is back, and that is really crap.

Laurie bought me a maternity support belt from Mothercare (this one) to see if it might help. It was only £12 so seemed like a worthy investment. It has definitely helped a little bit, but I just have to be really careful how I move and how much I do during the day. I can’t carry Ebony or chase her down the road at the moment, but I don’t feel too bad just yet. It was a bit depressing for a few days because I was worried this was the beginning of the end, but it’s improved slightly since then so I think maybe it’s just a case of being mindful of what I do.

Missed week 14? Catch up here.

Review: We're Going on a Bear Hunt Live

On Friday, I took Ebony to see We’re Going on a Bear Hunt at The Lowry. I try to take her to the theatre every couple of months because there are few things in life more pleasing than a trip to the theatre. More often than not we end up at The Lowry simply because they have an impressive array of family shows on throughout the year.

I booked the tickets to see We’re Going on a Bear Hunt after a friend recommended it on Twitter. I never need much convincing when it comes to buying theatre tickets, even if my bank balance would really rather I abstained.

It was the last day of half term and I wanted it to be special, so we were planning to head into Manchester for a bit first. We went straight to V Revolution for a vegan milkshake. We both decided on chocolate although I think maybe it was a bit rich for Ebony, she only drank half before announcing it was ‘too garlicky’. Obviously, it didn’t taste of garlic, but Ebony has a limited vocabulary when it comes to adjectives. We also got a slice of vegan cheesecake which I think must have been Ebony’s first ever cheesecake so she was pretty pleased with that though just about managed to save some for Laurie when he came to meet us.

We were then meant to head to go falafel (another of Manchester’s fine vegan eateries) to buy some takeout falafel wraps for lunch, but instead, we gravitated towards H&M. I wanted maternity wear and Ebony was hoping for “something cute in the sale” because she is a character in an American teen movie. This took longer than expected and we ran out of time for falafel, we had to jump on a tram straight to The Lowry. We got there just in time for Ebony to wash all of the tram window gunk off her hands before the show (why, Manchester, why are your tram windows so filthy?).

We had front row seats so had a good view of the performance, Ebony is finally big enough that sitting at the front doesn’t obscure her view (damn stage). We’re Going on a Bear Hunt is a favourite story of ours, so we were both excited to see it come to life on stage. I have fond memories of my dad reading the book to me when I was little, too. The show was absolutely amazing, definitely one of the best pieces of family theatre we’ve seen.

The cast was fantastic, really engaging and fun, and Ebony was completely transfixed the whole way through. There were plenty of catchy songs, some audience participation and plenty of different activities happening on stage. The format was really creative, with each part of the story being shown in a different way. There was a water fight, plenty of messy paint fun and loads of imaginative props.  

Sometimes, children’s shows can be a little samey, and children can get bored, but this wasn’t the case with Going on a Bear Hunt. It was action-packed from start to finish, it had Ebony laughing out loud and just a little bit angry (she doesn’t like to get wet, it turns out). It was a really fun show to watch and definitely inspired me to want to take Ebony on a bear hunt in the woods one day soon.

The Lowry will host the two final performances of the show tomorrow (you can book tickets on The Lowry’s website). If you mist is there, you can still catch it on its UK tour later this year (find venues and dates here).

Getting the House Sorted Before the Baby Arrives

We’ll have been living in our house for two years in May though it really doesn’t seem so long. There are quite a few jobs I want to get done before the baby arrives, not least because I know we won’t get anything done with a baby in the house. I think we’ve gotten used to having a bit more freedom now that Ebony is older, so I know looking after a newborn again will come as a bit of a shock. At the moment, I can easily paint a room, organise some storage or move furniture around whilst Ebony entertains herself.

There are six months until the baby arrives and plenty to do in that time. We have a downstairs bathroom which currently doesn’t work (and never has), but my dad is going to be fitting a new one for us shortly. We also have some tiles to go down in the conservatory and utility room which should make things look a little tidier. There’s also quite a few odds and ends that still need finishing in the kitchen. There are no blinds in there at the moment, so I’ve been looking at the range of VELUX blinds on offer. I also really want a SMEG kettle and toaster to go in there. There’s also plenty of work to be done in the garden, which is depressing because I did lots last year and it feels somewhat never-ending. Ebony will be getting a playhouse soon (again, courtesy of my very skilled father), so I need to sort out the bottom of the garden for that.

One of the jobs I really want to get done, is our bedroom. It desperately needs doing, we haven’t really touched it since we moved in. Well, we put some blinds up last week so that was pretty exciting. I think it’s going to be quite a big job, so I’m hoping we can get started on it pretty soon. I love the idea of being tucked up that first night of a family of four in our newly decorated bedroom with framed prints, so I’m really hoping I can make that a reality. I think one of the most important things I want for the new bedroom is a super king bed. We have a double at the moment and when Ebony chooses to get into our bed, well, there isn’t much room. I don’t ever want to have to turn Ebony away because there’s no room for her now that there is a new baby, so a bigger bed is at the top of my list. I’m not convinced that a king size would really feel that much bigger, so I’m planning to get a super king bed. I can’t imagine anything nicer than having a bed big enough for us all to snuggle in on that first night as a family of four.

I’d also really like a nice dressing table so that I have a more organised approach to my make p and the like. I’m hoping I’ll be able to fit one of these into our room, hopefully, there will be room even after the bed goes in. I feel hopeful that we’ll manage to get all of this work done before August, but also I’m 15 weeks today and can’t quite believe how fast this pregnancy seems to be going, so I’m also a bit worried that the baby will be here before I know it.

Pregnancy Update: Week 14

I can’t believe it’s been 14 weeks already. Baby is now the size of a troll. After the first few weeks dragging so much, it’s crazy how fast time is flying now. The weeks just seem to disappear and every Wednesday I’m surprised when my pregnancy app notifies me that another week has gone. I’ve stopped being sick now, so am feeling much happier. The nausea is still hanging around, but I can cope with that by being mindful of what I eat. Throwing up is the worst, so I’m glad that’s finally behind me.

My friend dropped off some of her maternity tops this week which has been hugely helpful. I’m looking quite pregnant at times and have been struggling with normal clothes a little bit. I do have a bag of maternity clothes somewhere, but I have no idea where I’ve put them. I think they might be in the cupboard o’crap which is really not a fun place to look. If they are there, there are at least two years of clothes and toys that Ebony has outgrown precariously balanced atop it and, to be frank, I just can’t be arsed pulling everything out of the cupboard. So the new maternity tops have been a wonderful addition to my diminishing wardrobe.

I’m still feeling exhausted so Laurie has been letting me sleep lots. I haven’t yet seen any sign of this second trimester energy I keep reading about. I’m better at staying up in the evenings now (unheard of in the early weeks), but am really struggling to wake up in the mornings. I seem to have sudden bursts of energy and then huge periods of sluggishness where I just want to hide under a blanket for a few hours.

I’ve noticed that my pelvic area has been a little sore at times this week, so am really hoping this isn’t the beginning of PGP (pelvic girdle pain… actually the worst name ever). I had it in my last pregnancy, but not until around 28 weeks. It was really uncomfortable and left me unable to do loads of things, I really don’t want to get it again but know it is highly likely. Two long journeys in a cramped car this week have left me feeling achy all over, but hopefully, that will pass.

I have a midwife appointment next week and am looking forward to Ebony coming with me for that.

Throwing up in Dunlem Mill

When Ebony was little, I realised I couldn’t go back to work. The commute was too long, work was too far away, and I hated the idea of being away from Ebony for so much of the week. It wasn’t an easy decision to make because I loved my job and really felt like I was making a difference in the world. But, when I became a mama, my world got smaller, and that little baby girl was really all that mattered.

Shortly after I made that decision, Ebony got pneumonia. It wasn’t really that serious, but it was pretty scary, and I felt really glad that I was home with her and not stuck on the other side of Manchester. I’m really appreciative that I can stay home with Ebony when she’s poorly, that I don’t have to give her a quick kiss before running out of the door. And it wasn’t an easy and obvious solution for me to stay home, we had to make sacrifices financially in order for me to stay home. But it’s always been worth it. Even when all of my DINKY friends (double income, no kids yet) were going on amazing holidays, perfecting their homes and showcasing new dresses each time we met up.

I started working as a pregnancy and parenting writer and have now been happily doing that for three years. I love what I do. I am fascinated by pregnancy, birth and parenting, and love nothing more than hearing about other women’s experiences. I love the gentle parenting site I write for. I love the ease of working from home, and the fact I never, ever have to fight for a seat on a sweaty, miserable commuter train. I love that I control how much work I do each month and that I can easily take a day off to get to the beach or play in the snow.

And, most importantly, I love that I can be there for Ebony when she needs me. If she’s ill, I don’t have to ring work and try and negotiate a day off, I can just stay home with her (and feel only moderately stressed about the work I should really be doing). It doesn’t happen often because she only ever seems to catch colds, but when it does, it’s nice to spend a day on the sofa with her.

A couple of Saturdays ago, Laurie took Ebony to a birthday party. I was in the bath when they got back (I am always in the bath. It is a side effect of the pregnancy), and Ebony came straight in and puked up a lot of chocolate into the toilet. I thought this was because Laurie had let her eat two packets of chocolate buttons and a cake (what sort of person doesn’t think this is an excessive amount of sugar for a four year old?!), and she seemed fine for the rest of the night.

The next day, Laurie took Ebony to Dunelm Mill. The lovely folks over at Ocean Finance sent me a £50 voucher for Dunelm Mill so I could treat my house to a little bit of love this Valentine’s Day. Our house is a funny place, I love the kitchen but it’s still not really finished. It’s just finishing touches left to do, but we just haven’t got round to them yet (see above for the bit about making financial sacrifices for me to stay home. One of those sacrifices came in the form of a new kettle and toaster to match my beautiful kitchen. Sob).

The rest of the house still has a long way to go, and I know it will take us years to get it all done. I’m really hoping we’ll be able to sort out our bedroom before the baby arrives in August. It’s definitely the worst room in the house (think 1970s built in wardrobes), and I really don’t want to be stuck breastfeeding all night staring at those magnolia walls. As a step in the right direction, I decided to spend the voucher on something for the bedroom, to take us just a little bit closer to my dream of having a nicer room. We decided to get some wooden blinds, I know, that’s not massively exciting, but it really is if you could see what we were using before (I can’t tell you here, because it will make you all feel too sad for me, but, erm, it wasn’t wooden blinds).

So, Laurie and Ebony headed down to Dunelm Mill to pick up some white hardwood blinds for our bedroom window. Ebony said her legs were tired, so Laurie picked her up to carry her through the shop. And then she threw up down his jumper. Like, not down the front of the jumper, which would have been bad enough, but down the neck hole. When he came home, he had a necklace of encrusted vomit. She also threw up on the floor a bit (you’re welcome, Dunelm Mill). So, Laurie brought her home, where she immediately fell asleep in my lap. There is a 48 hour rule at nursery, and Ebony managed to throw up again on Tuesday so ended up having four whole days off thanks to this sickness bug.

I was having pretty bad morning sickness at the time, so we spent our days watching each other vomit into the toilet. Ebony likes to provide a running commentary to my sickness and sometimes leans so far over the toilet to peek in that I can no longer be sick into it without spraying her head.

I was probably feeling the worse I have felt this pregnancy, so it wasn’t exactly an ideal time to have Ebony want extra attention. I mostly tried to convince her to nap during the day with me,and encouraged her to play alone when she was awake. We also played a lot of boardgames. So, I probably wasn’t the best caregiver, but I’m still glad I got to be there. Even if it means I’m now four days behind on my work. Aaaand breathe.

Pregnancy Update: Week 13

Week 13, according to my pregnancy app the baby is now around the size of a matchbox car. Time seems to be flying by now that we’ve had the scan. I’ve been busy with work and sometimes feel guilty that I haven’t had as much time to just sit and think about the pregnancy as I did last time. But I don’t suppose sitting and thinking does much good anyway, so I’m trying to push that guilt out of my mind.

I felt ok at the start of week 13, I was sick once but had spent a few days feeling human. I wasn’t throwing up all evening and I had even started to get my energy back. It suddenly felt like I was back to my old self though it turned out to be short-lived.

I went out with friends on Friday and probably stayed out a little late and then spent the whole weekend trying to catch up on sleep. It’s crazy how much a single night out can affect you when you’re pregnant. I started being sick again on Saturday and this lasted until at least Monday. I’m still feeling really nauseous but seem to be able to better control it so I’m not actually throwing up now. I tried using polos again but they made everything so much work, so I’m now avoiding polos like the plague (which I actually never have to avoid).

I’ve felt a little bit anxious at times. I think a lack of sleep really affects me and turns me into a blubbering mess. I spent most of the weekend with a crippling headache after a stupidly late night on Friday (not that late, but late for me at 13 weeks pregnant). My head was really sore and I don’t want to take painkillers if I can help it at the moment, so I’d pretty much spent the whole weekend in bed.

My eyes were really sore and as I was waiting to drop off to sleep one night, I suddenly thought ‘what if I wake up tomorrow and my eyes don’t work anymore?’ Probably this is an odd thought, but it’s not unusual for me to think of dramatic scenarios in my head. The only difference was that this time, I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I started imagining how awful it would be to never see Ebony’s face again, or to know what she looked like as a grown up, and I just couldn’t stop sobbing. I had to go and sleep in her bed in the end so I could stare at her face a bit before I went to sleep.

The next morning I realised that I might be a little anxious, so I’ve been more conscious of it and that has helped. There has been no more sobbing over irrational thoughts, so that’s good.

I’ve felt some things that feel a lot like movements, but I can’t say for sure whether they are. They feel exactly like the little nudges I felt with Ebony, but I sort of feel like it must be too soon for that at 13 weeks so perhaps it’s just things inside moving around to make room.

I’m looking forward to reaching the second trimester and hopefully feeling a little more like myself next week.

My Valentine's Wish List

1. One of the best and worst things about being vegan, is that it’s not always easy to get hold of the junk food you want. This is bad because junk food tastes good. But also it is good because junk food is bad, so the less chocolate I can eat, the better. Anyway, I have noticed that being pregnant means I can demand almost any food I want, and Laurie will try his best to at least appear to be trying to find it for me. So, for Valentine’s Day, what I really want is one of these vegan marshmallow waggons (yeah, vegan waggon wheels, basically). So good.

2. Continuing down the theme of vegan food, there’s another treat for the tastebuds on my wishlist this year. A meal out would be totally wasted on me now, pregnancy sickness pretty much guarantees that I’d puke the whole thing back up again. But, I hate to miss an excuse for a meal at a nice vegan restaurant, so vouchers would be ideal. We went to Lolo’s, a new vegan and raw restaurant in Ramsbottom, a couple of weeks ago. The food was amazing, unfortunately I threw it all back up, so it would be lovely to go back once this damn morning sickness passes. I did manage to try one of the vegan jaffa cakes and it was amazing.

3. I’ve started thinking more about when this baby arrives, and the various things I’ll need. Luckily, we won’t need much in the way of baby things because we have plenty of stuff stuck in the loft (and some very kind friends have offered us some extra hand-me-downs). However, I would love to be able to take some nice photographs of the new baby. When Ebony was born, I was crap with my DSLR camera so all the photos are taken with a lot of flash and very little in the way of composition. Things have improved slightly over the past four years, but it’s still something I’d like to work on. I’d love something compact that could easily be used out and about, and these Panasonic Lumix DSLRs look like they would be perfect.

4. Being 13 weeks pregnant and still fighting the waves of pregnancy sickness, this isn’t going to be the most romantic wish list ever. One thing I really want, and that has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, is a maternity pillow. I didn’t have one last time and I am forever jealous of everyone who has ever slept in such luxury. So, this time I really need one. I have no idea which one is supposed to be the best, but this Dream Genii maternity pillow looks pretty amazing.

5. Like most pregnant women, I have been dividing my time between the bed and the bath. When I am not asleep, I am sat in the bath, moaning about feeling sick. I am, truly, a joy to be around. To make those baths a little more enjoyable, I would love some new products. Lush is a personal favourite of mine, I’m a big fan of their ethics when it comes to animals, and their products smell great. I think this Ray of Sunshine gift box would be the perfect way to unwind at the end of a long nap.

Pregnancy Update: Week 12

Week 12 has been pretty exciting. We finally got to have our ultrasound scan (the first trimester crawls by so slowly) and see our wriggly baby on the screen. The sonographer was really nice and it was really lovely to take Ebony in with us so she could see her future brother or sister on screen. Finally knowing there was a healthy baby in there was a huge weight off my mind, and we were finally able to share the news with the world. We’d already told most of our friends and family, but it was good to be able to finally write it on this blog. It’s weird trying to blog when you have a massive secret that is affecting each and every area of your life.

Ebony took her scan picture into nursery with her and showed it to absolutely everybody. I stuck it into a little card to keep it safe and she’s been carrying it around in her coat pocket. It was really lovely seeing how proud she was of the scan photo, I think she is going to be a really lovely big sister.

I’ve been struggling with horrendous morning sickness all week. But not morning sickness, all-the-fucking-time sickness. I think I’ve literally thrown up pretty much every morsel of food I’ve managed to eat over the past few weeks. It’s been pretty miserable. When I was pregnant with Ebony, I was sick a lot but much earlier in the pregnancy. And I didn’t seem to be quite so sick, this time, it has been pretty violent so I’m sure most of my food has been coming back up.

I went out for a meal on Friday night and threw up for a few hours after I got home. For the record, throwing up broccoli soup is really not pleasant, at all. The next morning, I went for lunch with my family and threw everything up again. This was particularly depressing because we’d gone to Lolo’s, a new vegan restaurant in Ramsbottom and the food was really really good. It is horrible to throw up really good food. That night, I was interviewed for an Australian breakfast show and somehow managed not to puke up on air. The next day, we went for another family meal with my Nanny and, once again, I threw it all up. I should probably stop eating out because it is clearly a waste of money.

Luckily, however, the sickness started to subside. I was worried I was going to be stuck with it until later in the pregnancy, but I haven’t been sick so far today so I think things are picking up. I’m still feeling pretty exhausted, but if the sickness goes then, at least, I’ll start to feel a little more human.